⚠️ Warning
This is a completely fictional story. Any resemblance to real events, alien signals, or neighbors with faster Wi-Fi is purely coincidental… or a well-executed simulation.
The concepts of petricor, Fermi paradox, Mandela effect, chaos theory, and heuristic traps are featured here in a comedic science fiction context, as a summary of previous entries. They have been reinterpreted for narrative and absurdly fun purposes.
If you’re interested in learning the true meanings of these concepts (and how they relate to the real world), feel free to click on the links to our previous entries. Learn something new while having a good laugh!
In previous chapters:
Chapter 2
Zrrrlgh stared at the WhatsApp interface with a mix of confusion and fascination. He was completely intrigued by this human form of instant communication. But he didn’t understand the most important thing: how could there be an app without quantum emojis?
— “Is this it? No pure energy? No quantum filters?” he thought, sliding his psychic antennae across the screen.
With a sigh (if Xarblonians could sigh), Zrrrlgh sent his first message:
“Hello, Earthling! I’m Zrrrlgh from Alpha Centauri B. How’s the day going on your planet? Are there croquettes?”
The wait was agonizing. Three seconds. Nine seconds. Then, the message arrived:
“Who are you? What planet? Can you send me memes?”
Zrrrlgh was perplexed. Memes? What was that? Some kind of quantum radiation? What he didn’t know was that he had just fallen into a heuristic trap. Instead of processing the message as an advanced being would, Zrrrlgh started wondering if memes were the key to human communication.
— “This must be some sort of interdimensional art,” he murmured to himself. “The Fermi paradox must be involved in this. If the galaxy is full of civilizations, why has no one talked about memes before?”
Just then, a notification appeared, a video of a cat dancing reggaeton. Zrrrlgh couldn’t help it. His pure consciousness, which had been immersed in deep quantum thoughts about existence, suddenly got caught in an infinite dopamine loop. A strange wave of pleasure enveloped him, just like what happened to humans who watched cat videos over and over again.
— “This is… it’s… spectacular!” he exclaimed, as his psychic antennae began to flicker uncontrollably. “Is this what they feel when they discover something transcendent? A mix of digital petricor with a spark of absolute chaos?”
Suddenly, Zrrrlgh began having some rather chaotic thoughts. He wondered if cat memes could be a reflection of chaos theory. Maybe the entire universe was influenced by the unpredictable behavior of a dancing kitten. Perhaps the entire universe was a complex system, where small decisions (like watching a cat twerk) could alter the entire cosmic fabric of reality.
What if, on some level, memes and cats were connected to the quantum balance of everything that exists?
This thought trapped him in an even greater heuristic trap. He tried to escape the spiral, but every time he saw the cat move its tail rhythmically, a new cycle would begin. How was it possible that humans lived in such a brilliantly functional state of chaos?! To Zrrrlgh, human chaos was as predictable as the course of a black hole, but infinitely stranger and more exciting.
Suddenly, something on the screen glowed. A message appeared from another Earthling. This time, it was a strange meme depicting a banana dancing with the NASA logo. Zrrrlgh stared at it, incredulous.
— “Is this… a sign of intelligent life? Or just the Mandela effect in its strangest form?”
Zrrrlgh recalled hearing about the Mandela effect, that strange human sensation of remembering things that never happened. Now he was experiencing it himself, but on a galactic scale. Did a dancing banana really exist at NASA? Or was it just a cosmic mistake of humans?
But the biggest problem of all was that Zrrrlgh couldn’t stop being curious. Instead of focusing on the interdimensional tasks that were his responsibility as a galactic leader, he found himself obsessed with WhatsApp and memes.
Around him, his environment began to distort. What had once been a field of pure quantum energy was now a collection of disconnected fragments, like a manifestation of universal chaos. What if all of this was a simulation?
Suddenly, Zrrrlgh realized something profound. He was trapped in a cycle of human behavior, something he had not predicted in his vast knowledge of quantum physics. What if what humans call “social connections” were actually fractals of universal chaos? Maybe the entire galaxy revolved around the same chaotic rules that memes and social media followed!
Looking back at the communication screen, Zrrrlgh prepared to send another message. This time, however, he couldn’t help but question everything he had learned:
“Hello, Earthling. I need to know: Is this the beginning of a new era of quantum understanding, or just a Mandela effect with Instagram filters?”
But before he could send the message, a strange light surrounded his energy body. The WhatsApp signal was abruptly cut off.
“What the hell…?” Zrrrlgh thought as he saw his screen go dark. A final message appeared in the corner: “You have no more storage space. Delete some messages to continue.”
“Damn it! Can’t even keep an intergalactic chat going without running out of space!? So all of this depends on the cosmic heuristic traps of storage?” Zrrrlgh shouted.
And just at that moment, the screen displayed something even more puzzling: an advertisement for croquettes for dogs.
End of the chapter… but what comes next could reconfigure our entire perception of reality.
